Dear Jack: 18 months

Dear Jack,

Today you are eighteen months old. It seems like every day you are turning into more boy and less baby. We no longer have a room in the house that is Jack-proof because you have found a way to make even the most innocent of objects dangerous. You attempt to climb everything in sight, toys are made for throwing at high speeds, and chairs are yours to move around as you please so you can reach objects placed out of your reach.

You are full of smiles and laughter, but only for those you know and love. If a stranger attempts to coax a smile out of you, you will give him the classic Jack stare-down with furrowed brows. This look is so intense that it stops everyone in their tracks. You also bestow this look upon your family when we aren’t meeting all of your demands. In fact, if something is taken away from you or if you are frustrated by not being able to do something, you immediately switch from happy Jack to screaming Jack. Your tantrums are legendary, but also very funny.

You are such a loving, affectionate, little guy. You frequently pause mid-play to run over and hug Ellie, me, or your daddy. You say our names over and over again while wrapping your chubby, little arms around us (you finally moved past the head-butt hugs). You have a funny sense of humor and are always trying to make us laugh, whether it is by putting something on your head or walking in a funny way.

You always want Ellie to play with you and if she is busy playing Wii or watching TV, you will go turn the TV off over and over again until she gives up and chases you around the house. You still like to imitate her every move and even her speech. Your favorite thing lately is to go in her closet and put on her shoes. You then clomp around the house with the biggest grin on your face. You like to imitate me as well and I take full credit for what a great husband you will make someday. You take wet wipes and clean off all surfaces. Any trash you find goes in the garbage. You love to take the broom and push it around the house. And when you play in your little kitchen, you like to wear an apron.

Your speech is slowly developing into more than just one-word responses. Your favorite word still seems to be “mine,” but now you have mastered two-word commands as well. You love to say “No touching” while wagging your finger and grinning at us. My favorite thing you say, or course, is “I love you.”

Jack, you are fun and mischievous and oh so lovable. You bring so much joy to our family and it is hard to imagine how we ever did without you.

Love you forever,

Mommy

Ellie-isms

Yesterday, Jack threw a toy in frustration when he didn't get his way. I sighed and asked rhetorically, "What am I going to do with this spoiled baby?" Ellie quickly responded, "I don't know. I was a GOOD baby!"

***

This morning as I was getting Jack dressed, Ellie commented on how she can't wait til Jack gets big. I told her no way, that I want to keep him a baby. She walked over and gently put her arm around me and said, "Mom, even when we're big, I'll always be your girl."

***

On our way to the library today, Ellie informed me that when she is big, I can always come visit her. She then said she will live by me and will have one baby. And that Jack will be with her. I asked why Jack was going to be with her and she replied that he will always be with her and they are going to get married. When I told her she couldn't marry her brother, she insisted that she could because she loves him and nobody can stop her. I decided to just let that one go because I am sure she won't still feel that way in a few years

My pizza obsession lead to this

After getting a little "motivation" a few weeks back, I have been trying to be more careful about what I eat. But the problem is pizza. I love pizza. I love pizza so much that I would eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I could. I blame pizza (and Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and all special occasions) for my weight gain this year. But pizza doesn't really fit into my new diet of lean protein and veggies for dinner each night. I have missed pizza so much that I decided to attempt to make a low-carb version using cauliflower for the crust. It sounded good…cauliflower, egg beaters, mozzarella, and oregano mixed together, patted into a crust, and put into the oven til crisp. Then, a little sugar free pizza sauce, fresh veggies, and a little turkey pepperoni and you have a healthy pizza. It looked and smelled delicious. Unfortunately, it tasted TERRIBLE. So, I tried again last night. This time I used an egg beater crust, salsa, mozzarella cheese, and turkey pepperoni. Not as good as real pizza, but certainly better than cauliflower pizza! I guess the lesson here is that when you are dieting you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Literally.

Continuing to embarrass me on a daily basis

I like to stop by Sonic on our way home from school to take advantage of their Happy Hour special (1/2 price drinks!) and get my Rt. 44 Diet Dr. Pepper. Sometimes I get Ellie a slush, too. The man that brought us out our drinks yesterday had long hair pulled back in a ponytail. As he was handing me our drinks, Ellie loudly announced from the back seat that she had never seen a boy with long hair before! Her tone implied that this was just beyond ridiculous. I just drove away quickly and hoped the man with the lovely locks could find humor in the situation.

Later, we had to go to Walgreens for one battery (yes, just one...it was an emergency involving an escaped dog and a dead shock collar...don't judge me). As I was unloading the kids from the car, I saw a lady trying to get into the car next to us. I apologized and she commented on how my hands were full. Ellie takes one look at her and says, "That lady has a BOY haircut!" Now, this lady was rather butch from head to toe, but I pretended not to hear Ellie as the lady was standing right there. I should have known better because Ellie felt the need to repeat that over and over again as I rushed her into the store.

So, I am thinking I need to sit Ellie down and have a little talk with her about not commenting on people's appearances. At least not within earshot.

Let the burping and farting begin

Awhile back, Tom and I were at the Newlywed Game party and one couple let it slip that when the wife goes out of town, his boys like to say, "Let the burping and farting begin." Boys are so gross, aren't they? And now I have a boy who I like to think of as a sweet, innocent thing who would never be so gross. But something happened recently that gave me a glimpse of life to come. I was bathing Jack a few nights ago, trying to get him to sit down because he prefers standing in the tub (anything to increase the possibilities of getting hurt...that's how he rolls), and a loud fart escaped his rotund little bum. He looked at me with surprise and then we both started laughing because, let's be honest, it was a little funny. But then he got this look of intense concentration and lo and behold another fart came out. He had discovered intentional farting and each time he followed it with a belly laugh. I quickly finished the bath and hoped this wasn't going to become a habit. Fast forward to last night...once again I am bathing Jack, but this time he burps. You can guess where I am going with this one. Yep, my boy can apparently burp on command. Boys are so gross.

Side note: We were never allowed to say "fart" growing up as it was one of the junk words (along with words like butt and crap). The fact that I used the word fart mulitple times in this post and in the title makes me feel very risqué!