Dear Ellie at 18

 Dear Ellie,

You are legally an adult! I can't believe I am old enough to have an adult child. Thankfully, you have taken it pretty easy on me throughout your teen years.  You will be graduating in the top 10% of your class in a little over the month and will be heading off to Texas A&M in the fall.  Your high school career has been seriously impressive and you have done it all on your own. You should be so proud of yourself. Not only are you graduating magna cum laude, but you also started multiple national honor societies at your school and participated in more clubs than anyone I know. All while balancing a very rigorous course load of AP classes. 

I hope you get involved at college, join the clubs, make good friends, and live in the present. Enjoy this time in your life. I am so excited for you to experience this next chapter. 

As my oldest, you got the brunt of my parenting fumbles. I hope that through it all, you always felt how much I love you. I am endlessly proud to be your mom. 

I love you forever, my beautiful, brilliant daughter. 

Mom

Dear Sam at Age 11

 

Dear Sam,

Happy birthday to my April Fools baby! We celebrated you today by playing hooky from school. You wanted donuts for breakfast, then we played a couple board games, your dad joined us for a sushi lunch, then you and I watched the new "Mean Girls" musical (which you loved), and then it was off to your baseball game. We finished up the night playing Jackbox together as a family.  You are always so grateful and thanked me so many times throughout the day.  I was just so happy that you wanted to spend the entire day with your old mom.  

This past year, you have really become more independent.  You are the last one to leave the house in the mornings.  I was initially worried you would miss the bus or be afraid, but you haven't missed the bus once. You are also responsible for taking care of the dogs and kenneling Sadie before you leave. I am so proud of how you have handled the extra responsibility.

Because of how reliable you have become, I've loosened up about letting you explore the neighborhood with friends. You love to ride your bikes to Walgreens and buy junk food. You also love to play video games online with your friends. Our house is frequently filled with the noise of you trash talking and shouting in excitement.   

Even though you have gotten more independent and responsible, you still let me baby you a bit.  You know my mama-heart isn't quite ready to let go just yet.  I love that you still want a big hug every morning before I leave and every night before you go to bed.  I always tell you that no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby.

Happy birthday, sweet boy.  I love you forever.

Mom

Dear Jack at 14

Dear Jack,

Today you are 14 years old!  Normally I would say, “I can’t believe you are 14,” but I actually feel like you have been 14 for a long time. You have always been mature for your age. You aren’t the typical middle school boy, even though you like to do typical middle school boy stuff. 

You love to talk to your friends and play video games for hours. 

You are addicted to your cell phone (although so am I).

  You have gotten into working out and have some serious muscles. 

 But I think middle school has also been a little rough for you (I know it has been for me) and I am glad this is your last year of it.  Even though I desperately miss the little boy who would come to me with his cuddles and tears, I love watching the young man you are becoming.  You can be so thoughtful and insightful.  You are still the kid who has an uncanny ability to read people and understand them.  You do have your dad’s dark sense of humor, though, which I also appreciate.

Jack, sometimes I worry that you take the guidance and corrections I give as a parent and internalize it as criticisms of you as a person.  I wish you could read my mind or feel the tremendous love I have for you.  When I became a parent, I realized for the first time what it is to love someone unconditionally.  It is immeasurable and almost impossible to explain.  Just know that I see you, I love you, and I will ALWAYS be here for you.  No matter what.

Happy birthday, my Jack. 

Love,

Mom

Dear Ellie on Your 17th Birthday

 

Dear Ellie,

Today is your 17th birthday!  Or, as you informed me, your Dancing Queen birthday (and considering how much you loved Mama Mia when you were little, I loved the ABBA reference).

This last year has been one of tremendous growth and maturation for you.  You have always been determined and goal-oriented, but I have watched with awe as you have tackled the many challenges the past year has presented.  You are taking 5 AP classes, on the swim and water polo team, involved in numerous clubs (one of which, NEHS, you founded), and volunteering at every opportunity. I honestly don't know how you manage your busy schedule, but you do it all with very little input from your parents.

I have always admired your fiery spirt and stubborn determination (while simultaneously feeling frustrated by those same qualities).  I love that you are a leader and not swayed by the actions of others.  I know you struggle with anxiety, like so many of us do, but you confront your fears and put yourself out there.  

Ellie, as much as I want to stop time, or at least slow it down a little, I am also excited to see what the future holds for you. This next year, you will have to make many important decisions.  No matter what you path you choose, I have complete confidence in your abilities.  

My birthday wish for you is that you will be a little less hard on yourself.  You don't have to be perfect. You are enough. You have always been enough.  You always will be enough.  

Happy birthday, Choo-choo.

Mom

Dear Sam on your 10th Birthday

 

Dear Sam,

Happy birthday, Sam the man! You are now double digits, but you will always be my baby. Luckily for me, you haven't yet decided that you are too old for snuggles.  You still need me and I make a point to not rush your childhood. I know what comes next.

This past year your interest in baseball, particularly the Astros, has really grown. You have developed a pretty impressive baseball card collection.  You also know all the teams and who their best players are. I love your enthusiasm for the sport, which you are currently playing.

You are so social. You want to talk to everyone. It can sometimes get you in trouble at school, but also gives you a lot of friends. I love your sense of humor and inquisitive nature.  You definitely keep us on our toes.

Sam, you are such a unique soul.  Just thinking about you makes my heart swell.  My birthday wish for you is that you realize how truly loved you are.  

Happy birthday, Sam. I love you forever. I like you for always.

Mom