Tom karaokes

While at the scorpion ranch, we had a night of karaoke. Those of you who know Tom in real life will be completely shocked when I tell you that Tom participated. You read that right. The ever-so-reasonable Tom sang Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" in front of my entire family (including my grandpa and aunts and uncles). And, yes, the song choice was entirely his. I don't have any pictures because I was too busy recording. I would post the video, but I value my marriage too much. At the end of his heartfelt Britney rendition, Tom then offered to do an encore with my brothers. He chose Backstreet Boys' "I Want it That Way." Please see the following blurry, camera-phone pics as evidence:
Notice who is hogging the mike?
Tom is actually jumping in the air here to reach the high notes. In case you were wondering, this was an alcohol-free event.

Scorpions, tarantulas, and bees...oh my

Our family reunion was at the C.O.D. Ranch in Oracle, Arizona. This ranch was awesome in many ways: our own personal chef, sweet casitas, hiking trails, hot tub and pool, among many other things. However, the ranch had one major drawback in my opinion. It's "wildlife" as the chef called it. The first night there the chef reminded us to check our beds and shoes and told us that we would probably see about 8-10 scorpions each. He reassured us that they haven't had a scorpion bite in about a year and a half. I personally didn't find it all that reassuring.

Each night we would gather around the campfire to hear family history stories. The first night we were listening to my dad tell stories about his life. The younger kids had grown a little restless and were playing in the golf cart (of course) a few feet away. Suddenly, I hear Ellie say to the other kids, "It's a tarantula! There's only one thing to do [pause] run for your lives!" And then all the kids came screaming back to the fire. I expected to see a large spider, but wouldn't you know, it really was a tarantula.

Something I didn't know about scorpions is that they glow under black light. My sister bought several black light flashlights for us to check our cabins each night. That first night, after seeing the tarantula, we went back to our cabin and Tom discovered a scorpion on the wall above the Jack's pack-n-play. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night.

My sister-in-law, Alethia, is a lover of all things creepy-crawlie. She took the kids for a flashlight walk to look for bugs. They counted over 40 scorpions.The kids thought it was awesome. Me? Not so much. I have to say, it was a relief to come home and not have to check every surface of my room with a black light.

Oh, yeah, I threw the bees in my title to be clever. The ranch wasn't overrun with them or anything. But Ellie did get her first bee sting at the ranch. She had fallen down a mountain earlier in the day, scraping up her arms and legs, and she barely even whimpered about it. But when she got stung by the bee? You could hear her screaming throughout the ranch. Everyone knew about it. She was fine after some Benadryl and Ibuprofen. Really, the bees and the fire ants were the least of my concerns.

I'm pushing for an all-inclusive resort in Florida as our next reunion spot.

1 might be too young to drive

We are back from our exotic vacation in the Arizona desert. Things I learned on this vacation:

• a black light flashlight is a must for finding and killing scorpions in your cabin


• duct tape is great for removing very fine cactus needles


• Ellie is NOT allergic to bee stings


• Jack is obsessed with golf carts and should not be left unattended in one

I will probably write about my vacation in way too many posts, but for this one I think I will address Jack and his golf cart obsession. The scorpion-infested ranch that my family rented out for our reunion had a golf cart so my dad could chauffeur my mom and grandma around. All Jack wanted to do the whole time we were there was sit in that golf cart (which he referred to as a "beep beep"). I took the following picture and posted it on Facebook along with the caption "Good thing they don't know how to start it!" You see where this is going, don't you?

The next day, I am sitting on the porch, shooting the breeze with my sisters, while Jack and his two cousins (ages 2 and 4) are playing in the golf cart a few feet away. Tom is sitting on a porch a few cabins away and shouts out on inquiry about Jack's whereabouts. I reply that he is playing in the golf cart. "Good plan, Holly, let our 1 year old play in a motorized vehicle." Not liking his condescending tone, I roll my eyes and was about to respond that it's not like Jack can drive it when suddenly I see the cart moving out of the corner of my eye. Jack is at the wheel and my 4 year old nephew is on the floor pushing the peddle (after first finding the key hidden on top and inserting it into the ignition). I was off that porch in a flash, trying to push back on the moving cart and yelling for someone to come stop this thing (what? I certainly don't know how to work a golf cart! I leave that to the children).

Anyway, no one got hurt, but I did spend a lot of my vacation sitting next to Jack in that cart, making sure he didn't take any excursions on his own.

In which I don't wish my husband a happy birthday

Y'all, guess what? Today is Tom's birthday! But he isn't going to get any fancy birthday shout out from me because he doesn't read my blog. Not that he doesn't know about it, he just can't be bothered. And thank heavens because then he would know my secrets, like how I fed him my student's leftovers and passed it off as my own cooking.

I would like to say I made today amazing for him, but as we are leaving for a long road trip tomorrow, today was full of boring errands. My sister did watch the kids this afternoon, so we could squeeze in a matinee (thanks, Di!).

Before you start feeling too sorry for Tom, know that he did get a party. His sister invited us over to her house on Sunday to celebrate. As always, I forgot my camera, so please forgive the camera-phone quality and lack of pictures.

As I mentioned above, tomorrow we leave for Arizona. 15 hours in the car with two kids (broken up into two days). I requested every Elmo and Signing Time DVD from the library. I am hoping that will keep Jack entertained. And I bought Ellie a new book for her Tag Reader and a new game for her MobiGo. How on earth did we manage road trips before technology? I seem to remember singing a lot of "Wheels on the Bus"as a child which just makes me even more impressed with my parents because 15 hours of singing would make me want to drive off the road into the nearest tree.

The Greatest Show on Earth (debatable)

I had so many projects planned for this summer to make my house more showable (is that even a word?) but I have failed to accomplish any of them. Instead, I have spent my summer going to the $1 movies with Ellie and her cousins, swimming, and just relaxing. After my run this morning? I showered and then got BACK INTO MY PAJAMAS. Summer is deep in my bones. Now where was I...oh yes, I was going to write about the circus. We have taken Ellie to the circus every year for the past 4 years. But this was Jack's first year to go. Really, we should have just left him at home with Nana like we did last year because he was only interested in the first 10 minutes. Part of the problem was his bedtime is at 7 and the show didn't start til 7:30.

Still, it was a fun night and we went with my sister, two brothers, and their respective families. So, 8 adults and 11 kids if you want to do the math.

We went out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack beforehand. Leilani wore a bib that said, "I have crabs." I am hoping she is still too young to realize the full implications of that bib. The kids enjoyed dinner almost as much as they enjoyed the circus. Speaking of which, the circus gets less and less impressive every year. Part of the problem is they use fewer animals. They still had the tigers, but I am pretty sure those tigers were high on tranquilizers...they were so sluggish. Part of me was hoping one would just wake up and launch himself at the trainer. Not to hurt him, but at least to add a little excitement. And then there were the flying trapeze artists. No lie, they missed about 50% of their swings or throws or flying...whatever it is called. And the twisted part of me (the same part hoping for the tiger attack) was thrilled to see them fall to the net below. So, basically, their failure was a plus for me.Another plus? I didn't lose Ellie once!

Sunday Best: the blessing of Krew edition

Tom joined us for church today because my adorable nephew Krew was being blessed. The picture below are the men in the blessing circle (my dad, brother-in-law, and two brothers) with their matchy-matchy gray suits that they totally planned. If they had bought matching ties for the occasion, then I would be a little concerned.
Tom is in the picture, too, so he wouldn't feel left out. Judging by his expression, I am pretty sure he wouldn't have minded being left out.

After church, Dianna invited everyone over for dinner at her place. The food was delish and Ellie was thrilled to be running wild with her cousins (Jack would've been, too, but thankfully he slept most of the time. The boy is a terror these days). Anyway, it was a nice break from our normal, boring Sundays.