A morning

As the school year progresses, I feel more and more like I am losing my mind.  This morning is a perfect example.  I wake up at my normal time (5:15) and wake the kids up at their normal time (6:00), so everything is right on schedule.  Ellie makes her breakfast while I put two waffles in the toaster for the boys and start packing lunches. The whole time I am doing this, I am peppering Jack to get moving.  He is complaining about his ear hurting (very unusual for him), so I do the working-mom thing and give him Tylenol while crossing my fingers. He sits down to eat, but then decides he needs to wash his hands. Even though the clock is ticking, I am not going to argue with that impulse so off he goes to the bathroom.  Sam, in the meantime, is throwing fit after fit.  I assume he is mad about his sippy cup so I pour his milk into a different one.  Still mad. So I just give him a juice box even though they are strictly for packed lunches.  He throws it on the floor. I then think he is mad about his waffle which he has only taken one bite of and shoved away so I give him a fruit/veggie pouch which he squeezes all over his shirt in anger.  At this point, I finally figure out that his pants are too tight at the waist and hurting him (and they are also way too short, where were my eyes???). Normally, I don't negotiate with terrorists toddlers, but this morning I am willing to do anything to get out the door. In the meantime, Jack finally returns from his 5 minute hand washing session only to discover his waffle is now cold.  I put it back in the toaster and start pressuring Ellie to brush her hair and get her shoes and socks on.  I wipe Sam up and grab a different outfit that I determine Ms. Donika will have to put Sam in because I have NO time for that battle. Jack still has yet to take a bite and we are now past the 6:30 mark.  I tell him he is the slowest person I have ever met, which makes him cry.  I then tell him he has no more time to eat and to get his shoes and socks and take his waffle with him to go.  He moves in slow motion to do so while Ellie decides she needs to give the dog a treat.  She hums and sings and talks to the dog while my brain explodes. Then, I am frantically gathering backpacks and bags and extra clothes and herding everyone out the door.  I drop Ellie off at her school and then take the boys to Donika's where I then realize I forgot to write her a check yesterday and Jack needs to take a check to preschool today for his tuition. I also realize I forgot to give Ellie a check yesterday for her before-school program, so I try to make a mental note to actually remember tomorrow (not likely).  I frantically write checks and then drag the kids out of the car into the house.  I give Donika the extra clothes and apologize for Sam in advance.  Then, on the way to school, I realize that I don't remember Jack taking his waffle to the car. Since today is a preschool day, and preschool is at Tom's high school with his coworkers and several of his students/athleyes, I decide it would make us look bad if he tells them he is hungry because he didn't get breakfast.  So I text Donika to tell her that I forgot to feed him and to please give him a snack before taking him to preschool. She then tells me that she always feeds them breakfast when her daughter eats.  (Apparently, my boys have been eating two breakfasts a day...why do I even stress about feeding them?!)  Miracles upon miracles, I make it to school on time and class begins smoothly.  I am mid-instruction when the fire alarm goes off (not a scheduled drill) and once again I am herding kids out the door and into the gray, rainy day.